Labor day!!!!

So Monday is Labor day and we don't have school. I don't really understand the origins of labor day, but if there's no school then I'm not going to ask any questions... Ha Ha!

My dad said labor day started when one of the abolitionists on the underground railroad got his finger stuck in a cotton gin and subsequently got his entire body suctioned into the tiny cotton gin and became sort of smushed and got his skull crushed and all cottonized. Apparently this started a full-fledged slave revolt and and the slave holders got together and used a giant razor wire lasso to catch all the negros in one big negro clump and sliced their bodies in two... literally doubling the amount of slaves in America (also resulting in the presence of the common-day "half-black".) The swinging and launching of this duplicative razor wire lasso took so much effort and labor on behalf of the plantation owners that they declared their triumph a national holiday so they could, traditionally every year, reflect on the victorious outcome in which many slaves in America became many more slaves in America.

...Pretty cool.